One Year Later

Oh, I have been slacking! Not really. It’s been a pretty busy, hectic year. A lot to cover but for the moment I’m just going to give the Readers Digest Very Condensed version: I did not get to be Commencement Speaker (but I was really okay with it, I tried and that was huge!) I graduated and got my Associate degree in Elementary Education, the girls finished elementary school, I sold the house, we moved to Derry NH, the girls started Middle School, I started at SNHU and this past year went by in a WHIRLWIND!

Moving to Derry was THE BEST thing I did for me and the girls. They have both not only flourished in their new school, they have blossomed into some pretty darn amazing young ladies. I am so incredibly proud of both of them. They each played a sport in the fall (Field Hockey for Brenna and Soccer for Ryleigh), they are in the school chorus, joined the Glee Club, Ryleigh was in the school play and Brenna played softball this spring. Me, well I was very excited to make the Dean’s list in the spring! Fell a little short in the fall but that’s okay! This coming year, I have classes in the fall, then student teaching in the spring and GRADUATION again! Oh yeah, I get to be a teacher after that!

Today I got a wake-up call that I didn’t like. I had a physical and wasn’t expecting anything unusual, until the doctor said to me that my Blood Pressure was slightly elevated and was the last time I was in too. I asked what it was and was really surprised because it’s never been that high before. I was ALWAYS on the very low side of average. Now I’m getting close to the point of needing medication! Last year I had blood tests done and I was borderline pre-diabetic! NOT cool at all. I had more blood tests done this morning so we’ll see what that shows. In the meantime, I HAVE to lose weight. I am at my all-time heaviest and I am not happy with the way I look or feel physically.  As soon as I got home, I went online and signed up for Weight Watchers. (Again!)

I had this weird kind of epiphany though, a little while ago. When I started school five years ago, I didn’t know how long it would take me. I could only look at it one semester at a time. No more, or it was too overwhelming to think about. I knew there was an end goal and I just kept at it, slow and steady. There were days when I really didn’t know if I could do it; if I could finish, if I would make it to the end. Somehow though, every time that happened, something else happened to boost my confidence, my morale. I got validation from my professors, support from my family and friends, encouragement from everybody and I did it! I got one degree a year ago, and I’m so close to my Bachelor’s! so what was the epiphany? Well, if I could do that, why can’t I do this? It’s going to be just as hard, if not harder, BUT I still have all those amazing people who are part of my life and even more importantly, I have myself and my girls. I am proud of what I have done so far. How hard I have worked to reach this goal. I’ve shown the girls what hard work can bring you when you want it so badly! So now it’s time to do it again! It’s time to do it for me again. This time it’s for the physical me and yes, I guess it’s also for the emotional, mental part of me as well.

I realized that I have to tackle this the same way. One small step at a time. 5 pounds, 10 pounds, 25 pounds, celebrate each milestone and when things get rough, look back on my successes, not my failures. Ask for encouragement, ask for support, seek out help when I don’t know the answer, research answers on my own. I have probably more than 100 pounds I need to lose. but every 5 adds up towards that total. So can I do this? I don’t see why not? When I started school, there was no question in my mind about finishing. I knew I would, there was no other choice. It’s the same thing now. There IS NO other choice. So I’ll do it. That’s it.